I'm fed up with my life. I'm done with looking the way I do. I brushed off binging on my conscience today because I'm used to doing that. I ate way to much when we went out to dinner tonight. I'm taking my life back. I know I'm only 15, but I feel emotionally stuck, and not in the cute teenage drama kind of way. This blog is my escape, and it took me til now to fully understand that. So now, I am going to open my world up to you. It takes a lot for me to do this and reveal myself in this way, but I want to do this. Below are pictures posted of me. Currently. I find them very scary and gross, especially seeing myself this way, but here it goes. I weigh 142 pounds and am 5'5". (I look especially bloated because I had a big meal-- no exuse really, just thought I'd mention it!)

I want to be able to take pride in my body

and treat it as my temple. My temple needs to be skinnier. I really dislike my stomach, the way it's so pudgy. I don't have the excuse that its just kid fat because it not anymore. I'm not a kid anymore and I definitely don't look like one. I want to weigh 120 pounds. I am going to start a program, and I am going to stick to it. In the end, I want to look like this (can be a realistic representation--I've looked close to this a couple years ago, minus the muscles and breasts!) :

So this is it guys... I'm starting this and I will finish it. Please wish me luck! I will fill ya'll in as soon as I get a chance!

-Emily